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Transcripts/Leap of Faith

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Episode Leap of Faith
Previous For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils
Next Testing Testing 1, 2, 3
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Apple Bloom: Just one more time? Please?
Applejack: Alright, but this is the last one.
Apple Bloom: Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Woooo!
Granny Smith: [spluttering] Who done that?!
Apple Bloom: Sure wish you'd come swim with us, Granny.
Granny Smith: Uh, sorry, dear. I just can't bring myself anywhere near that there swimmin' hole.
Apple Bloom: How come?
Granny Smith: Well, I wasn't always this way...
[telecine beeping]
Granny Smith: Time was, I was an aquapony all-star! In fact, I was the only Apple to ever come close to breaking the Equestria high-diving record! Falling six stories into a deep dish pie pan takes a toll on the hindquarters. Oh, I was so sore, took years before I could even look at the water again! Just the idea of swimmin' makes my whole body ache! Besides, these old legs can't even paddle fast enough to stay afloat.
Granny Smith: [panicked noises]
Apple Bloom: Boy, I sure would hate to be afraid of swimmin'. You think I'll ever be scared of the water?
[Jaws-theme BGM]
Apple Bloom: Aah!
Big McIntosh: Nope.
Applejack and Big McIntosh: [laughing]
[theme song]
Apple Bloom: Wow, Granny. I can't believe you were a high diver!
Granny Smith: The best one in Ponyville!
Apple Bloom: Do you think I could be a high diver?
Big McIntosh: Nope.
Applejack: Absolutely not.
Apple Bloom: But–
Granny Smith: Now you hold your horsefeathers, little seed! I never said bein' a high diver was a smart decision! It's incredibly dangerous!
Apple Bloom: I know, but–
Granny Smith: But nothin'! It is the riskiest, scariest, darn-fool thing I ever did do! That's not to say I didn't wish I was still young and spry and confident, but let's leave the flyin' through the air to the Pegasi.
Apple Bloom: Wow, when you put it that way, it doesn't sound so fun.
[ponies talking]
Applejack: Wow. I wonder where everypony's headed.
[distant fairground music]
Applejack: Now where in Ponyville do you two think you're goin'?
Granny Smith: Aw, quit bein' such a worry-worm and follow your ears!
Apple Bloom: Come on, Applejack, aren't you curious?
[fairground music gets closer]
[ponies chattering]
[crank turning]
[steam puffing]
Flim: Thank you, one and all, for your attendance, and we guarantee that your time here will not be spent in vain!
Flam: In fact, we think it will prove to be the most valuable time you've ever spent!
Applejack: The Flim Flam Brothers! This should be interestin'.
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Flim: Welcome, one and all, to the demonstration of a lifetime!
Flam: A demonstration of a better life!
Flim: A demonstration of a better time! And if we haven't captured your interest just yet, by the time we've finished, an unfortunate phenomenon practically guarantees that we will!
Flam: A phenomenon? What's that?
Flim: It's a circumstance perceptible by the senses, but in this case, it's the simple fact that:
There's ailments all around us in everything we touch and see
A sickness that lies waiting there in every breath you breathe
Disease will up and grab you as it crawls from land and sea
It's amazing how infected that the natural world and all its things can be
Flim: Now I understand that some of you don't think you're sick.
Flam: But twisted hooves and aching joints don't heal all that quick.
Flim: Consider just how dangerous this world is! You might...
Slip and fall, break or sprain something here tonight
[Flim and Flam]
But luckily for you, we've got the thing you need
And it's easier when all you need's the cure
The Flim Flam Miracle Curative Tonic
Is just what the doctor ordered, I'm sure
Flim: Now I know our claims seem fantastical.
Flam: Impractical.
Flim: Improbable.
Flam: Impossible.
Flim and Flam: And magical!
Flim: So we welcome every suffering pony to make their way up to the stage.
Flam: Now don't crowd.
Flim: And we'll prove our tonic's effectiveness before your very eyes.
Flam: You there! Come up here, good sir.
Flim: I'll wager you're tired of those crutches, my friend.
Flam: Try taking a sip of this!
[ponies gasping]
[Flim and Flam]
That's why you're so lucky we've got the thing for you
Just come on up, we've always got some more
Of the Flim Flam Miracle Curative Tonic
[Silver Shill]
I won't need these crutches to dance out the door
Granny Smith: Now how do ya like that?
Applejack: I don't. There's somethin' funny about this whole thing.
Now some of you may suffer from feelings of despair
You're old, you're tired, your legs won't work, there's graying in your hair
Just listen and I'll tell you that you don't need to fear
Your ears will work, your muscles tone, your eyes will see so clear
Luckily for us, you've got the thing we need
The answer to our problems in a jar
The Flim Flam Miracle Curative Tonic
Is the greatest ever miracle by far!
[in background]
Tonic... tonic... tonic...
Flim: It cures the reins, the spurs, and the Clydesdale fur blight.
Flam: Hooferia and horsentery cured in just a night.
Flim: You've got swollen hooves and hindquarters or terrible bridle-bit cleft.
Flam: Saunter sitz and gallop plop will give your tail some heft.
Flim: Mane loss, hay fever, or terrible tonsillitis.
Flam: You heard it here, folks -- this is the only place in all of Equestria you'll find it!
It can make you shorter, taller, or even grow old
But who'd want that?
When with one drink
[Flim and Flam]
You can be young again–
Granny Smith: SOLD!
Flim: Congratulations, Granny Smith! You just made the purchase of a lifetime!
Applejack: Are you as worried as I am?
Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
Apple Bloom: Boy, I just can't believe all the things that Flim Flam Tonic can do!
Applejack: When somepony says somethin's too good to be true, it usually is.
Apple Bloom: You mean Granny wasted her money?
Applejack: Well, I don't know about that, but I don't think there's a tonic in Equestria that can make an old pony young again.
Granny Smith: Howdy!
Apple Bloom: Granny?!
Applejack: Hang on now! We'll get ya!
Applejack: [grunts]
Apple Bloom: Granny, I thought you were too afraid of the water to swim! And, and what about your hip?!
Granny Smith: Well, I reckon it might have been a problem before I had myself a dose of that there Flim Flam Tonic!
Applejack: I'm not so sure that tonic really does anythin'.
Granny Smith: Doesn't do anythin'?! What d'you call this? [hums a tune]
Applejack: I'm glad you're feelin' good, but how do you know it's from the tonic?
Granny Smith: I looked out at the water this mornin' and I felt the same terrifyin' aches and pains I always do. But one sip of that magic elixir and it all went away! Why, I might even get a head start on my chores! What do you say, Big Mac-a-doo? Up for a little afternoon applebuckin'?
Big McIntosh: Uh, no.
Granny Smith: Oh, quit your bellyachin'!
Apple Bloom: Gee, it looks like that tonic works after all! I wonder what's in it.
Applejack: I think maybe it's time we found out.
[Flim Flam Miracle Curative Tonic in background]
Apple Bloom: So you're just gonna walk up and ask them how it works?
Applejack: I guess. Though if it's a genuine cure, I don't suppose they'll be too keen on sharin' the recipe.
[Silver Shill]
–out the door!
Apple Bloom: Wait a second! That's that same pony from before!
Applejack: Hey!
Applejack: Now hold it right there, Mister...?
Silver Shill: Shill. Silver Shill. Ooh, what do you two want?
Applejack: Our Granny took some tonic and we want to know how it works.
Apple Bloom: Granny couldn't swim before, and now she can. Just like you couldn't walk and now you can. But what are you doin' back here? I mean, if the tonic cured you and all...
Silver Shill: [gulps]
Applejack: ...Because he's part of the act! It's time for you to tell the truth! You never needed crutches at all, did ya?
Silver Shill: I, uh...
[whistles blowing]
Applejack: Hey! Huh?
Flim: Well, if it isn't our most favorite Apple!
Flam: What brings you back to our humble abode?
Applejack: You two charlatans sold my Granny a bottle of tonic, and now she's off actin' like a filly again.
Flim: What's so bad about that?
Applejack: If she keeps gallavantin' around like a yearlin', she's apt to drop from exhaustion or worse! What's more, I know for a fact that your friend here is dressin' up as a different pony every night so he can pretend to be cured!
Flam: Well, well, well, that's quite an accusation.
Flim: But let's say that it's true...
Flam: Hypothetically...
Flim: Theoretically...
Flam: As I understand, your Granny was a famous aquapony.
Flim: The star of the show, once upon a time.
Flam: But hasn't set so much as a hoof in the water since.
Applejack: Until today, that's right.
Flim: Well, then even if our tonic were nothing more than a mixture of apple juice and beet leaves...
Flam: Hypothetically...
Flim: Theoretically...
Flam: The fact is that Granny is happier now than before she tried it.
Applejack: I guess...
Flim: So, the question is...
Flam: Do you really want to be the pony who takes all that happiness away?
Applejack: I...
Apple Bloom: There you are! I've been lookin' all over! Did you find out what's in the tonic?
Applejack: Honestly, Apple Bloom... as long as it works, I... don't suppose it really matters.
Apple Bloom: Well, if it doesn't matter to you, then it doesn't matter to me either, sis.
Flim: That's the spirit!
Flam: Come back anytime!
Apple Bloom: Hey, Granny! Think you can buck me over the water?
Granny Smith: I don't see why not! Come on, Big Mac, toss her this way!
Applejack: Granny, wait!
Granny Smith: Woo-hoo-hoo!
Apple Bloom and Granny Smith: [laughing]
Granny Smith: Uh, what were you sayin', dear?
Applejack: Granny, don't you think you should take it kinda easy?
Granny Smith: I've been takin' it easy for too long! And now, thanks to that Flim Flam Tonic, I don't have to!
Apple Bloom: Granny, you think I could be an aquapony like you?
Granny Smith: Of course you can, sapling. There's nothin' to it but to do it!
Apple Bloom: Well, the Ponyville swim meet is comin' up. We could enter together! A legendary water pony like you? We'd be a cinch to win!
Granny Smith: Mm, ee, uh, I don't know... Bein' back in the water is one thing, but a competition is a pony of a different color.
Apple Bloom: Oh. Okay.
Applejack: I don't know, Granny. A swim meet sounds pretty safe. And after all, if that tonic lets you swim in a river and a swimmin' hole, a pool should be no problem at all.
Granny Smith: Well, I'll be a tart turnover, you are right! All we need now is more tonic!
[ponies chattering]
Flam: Welcome, friends, and step right up! The next show starts in five minutes!
Flim: But why not buy your tonic now and avoid the rush?
Flam: Right this way, good sir!
Granny Smith: We'll take the whole case!
[bits clinking]
"Jinx": Are you saying this stuff actually works?
Applejack: It seems to work for Granny.
Flim: You heard it here first, folks! Flim Flam Miracle Curative Tonic is Granny Smith-tested and Applejack-approved!
"Jinx": If Applejack says it works, that's good enough for me!
[ponies chattering excitedly]
[bits clinking]
[ponies clapping and cheering]
Apple Bloom and Granny Smith: Hoo-ha, hee-hee, ha-hoo-ha!
Applejack: Just remember, you two. The most important thing is to be safe and have fun, right?
Granny Smith: Fiddlesticks! With the routine we've been workin' on, I'll be a plum puddin' if we don't win this thing!
Applejack: Uh... good luck, then!
Granny Smith: Luck? Pfft, who needs luck? We got tonic on our side!
Flam: Flim Flam's Magical Curative Tonic!
Flim: Get your Applejack-approved tonic! Granny Smith drinks it – why shouldn't you?
[ponies cheering]
Applejack: [sighs] Right.
Granny Smith: Now, if'n you'll excuse us, we got some swimmin' to do!
[ponies cheering]
Applejack: Well, I'll be...
[cameras clicking]
"Snappy Scoop": That was some of the most amazing aquabatics I've ever seen! How in Equestria did you do it? Hard work? Lots of practice? [clicks camera]
Granny Smith: Yeah, but mostly it's the tonic!
Flim: That's Flim Flam Miracle Curative Tonic, to be precise.
Flam: Buy it now while supplies last.
[ponies chattering]
Applejack: What are you doin' here?
Silver Shill: Oh, things are going so well, Flim and Flam gave me a promotion! Just made my first bit as a salespony. No more costumes for this pony. [beat] This is more of a uniform.
Applejack: If you say so.
Silver Shill: I used to wonder if I was doing the right thing. You know, pretending to be cured, basically lying to folks about this tonic. But thanks to you, I realized that sometimes honesty isn't the best policy.
Applejack: Thanks to... me?
Apple Bloom: With Flim Flam's magical Curative Tonic, my Granny can do anything! Just ask Applejack!
[cameras clicking]
Applejack: No! This has gotta stop! If ponies keep believin' that tonic can do things it can't, who knows what'll happen?
Silver Shill: Maybe something like that?
Applejack: [gasps] Granny! What in blazes does she think she's doin'?!
Apple Bloom: Granny's gonna break the Equestria high divin' record!
Applejack: Land sakes!
Granny Smith: [glugs]
Applejack: [catching breath] [gasps]
[whip cracking noises]
Granny Smith: [yelps] Now what in tarnation did you do that for?!
Applejack: That was the most fool-pony thing I've ever seen anypony do in all my life! You can't do a dive like that!
Granny Smith: Oh, quit your fussin'! I had enough tonic to do a dive ten times as high!
Flim: Twenty times, by my count.
Flam: Thirty, with a favorable breeze.
Applejack: I hate to disappoint everypony, but there's no way Granny could have made that dive, because this tonic is a fake!
[crowd gasps]
"Jinx": But you gave it your stamp of approval!
Rainbowshine: Are you saying you lied?
Applejack: ...I am.
[crowd gasps]
Applejack: I didn't mean to! But everypony seemed so much happier, I couldn't bring myself to tell you when I found out the tonic wasn't real. I know it was wrong. I just hope with time, I can win back everypony's trust.
Apple Bloom: But if the tonic is a fake, then how come Granny can swim again, and what about all that aquabatics stuff we just did?
Applejack: I reckon sometimes you can forget what you're capable of, and it just takes a little extra confidence to remember that it was inside of you all along. But tellin' ponies your tonic can do things it can't is just wrong!
Flim: But you just said it boosts confidence!
Flam: And that's not all it does, folks–
Silver Shill: Yes, it is! In fact, it's not a tonic at all! I know, 'cause I helped make it! Watching Applejack save Granny and then admit to lying, well, that made me realize I was making ponies believe in a thing that just wasn't so!
Applejack: Believin' in somethin' can help you do amazin' things. But if that belief is based on a lie, eventually it's gonna lead to real trouble.
Silver Shill: Thank you, Applejack. I got this through dishonest means. That was a mistake I won't be making again! I'd like you to have it, as a reminder of how you helped me finally see the truth.
Applejack: I don't know...
Silver Shill: Oh, don't worry. I'll track down the pony I sold that worthless tonic to and give him another bit to replace this one! Honest.
Applejack: I'm sorry, Granny. I hope this doesn't mean you'll stop swimmin'.
Granny Smith: Why in tarnation would I do that? I just can't believe those two salesponies had me believin' I could near fly! Hey, where'd they go?
Applejack: Bein' honest sure gets hard when it seems like the truth might hurt somepony you care about. But I think believin' a lie can end up hurtin' even more. Maybe some ponies don't care about that – but I sure ain't one of them. Now you take it easy there, Granny!
Granny Smith: Oh, I plan to! Hoo, ha, ha-whee!
Apple Bloom: [laughing]

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