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Episode Molt Down
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Rarity: I do appreciate you showing me the way to the phoenix nests, Spike.
Spike: Anything for you, Rarity. Besides, I've been meaning to visit Peewee.
Rarity: He really was an excellent pet. I can't imagine why you set him free.
Spike: Phoenixes aren't meant to be domesticated. Even in the wild, they like to keep to themselves.
Rarity: Well, they are beautiful. A few of their feathers will add just the right splash of color to my latest— Spike! What are you doing?
Spike: Uh, nothing!
Rarity: Is there something wrong with your face?
Spike: [sighs] It's a stone scale. It isn't magical or anything like the call of the Dragon Lord. It's just... red. And itchy. [groans] And embarrassing.
[throbbing]
Rarity: Ooh, precious pants, that does look uncomfortable. But even I get the odd blemish from time to time. It's nothing to be embarrassed by. You could pay Zecora a visit. She makes a cream that works wonders. Just don't get the shampoo.
Spike: There's Peewee's parents! But I don't see Peewee.
Rarity: Oh, maybe he moved out. Everypony has to leave the nest at some point.
[fluttering]
Spike: Peewee!
Peewee: [squawks]
[sizzle]
Spike: Ouch! [scratching]
Rarity: Perhaps you should pay Zecora a visit sooner rather than later.
Spike: [sighs] I don't want anypony else to see this. Besides, I'm sure it'll clear up after a good night's sleep.
Spike: [snoring]
[door opens]
Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe you're still asleep!
Spike: [groans] Just five more minutes... [continues snoring]
Twilight Sparkle: It's nearly noon, and you promised to help me with my lecture for class today!
Spike: Noon? Whoa! I slept like a rock! Which reminds me – all that sleep probably cleared up my stone scale!
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Um, on second thought... [chuckles nervously] You can go back to sleep if you want.
Spike: [screams]
[theme song]
[curtains drawing]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, what are you doing?
Spike: Hiding from my hideous face!
Twilight Sparkle: I'm sure it feels terrible, but it's just a breakout. It's not the end of the world.
Spike: That's easy for you to say. Your face isn't covered in itchy red spots! [scratching]
Twilight Sparkle: I used to get terrible breakouts any time I had a final exam with Celestia. Who probably never had a blemish her whole life.
Spike: Well, I'm not in magic school.
Twilight Sparkle: No, but these things can be stress-related. And you did spend yesterday with Rarity.
Spike: [chuckles nervously] What could possibly be stressful about that?
Twilight Sparkle: [groans] You could try Zecora. She makes a cream that—
Spike: Works wonders. I've heard. But I'm not leaving the castle until my face is back to its adorable self. [winces]
Twilight Sparkle: Fine. But you're still gonna help me practice my lecture.
Spike: [groans]
Twilight Sparkle: [clears throat] The element of generosity and its importance in relation to the other Elements of Harmony—
Spike: [gags, breathes fire]
Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] My lecture!
Spike: I don't know what happened! I just had a sudden case of— [gags]
[teleportation zap]
Spike: [breathes fire]
[teleportation zap]
[fire extinguisher spraying]
Spike: ...indigestion. I'm so sorry!
Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] It's okay. I'm sure I can rewrite the lecture from my notes. I have a lot.
Spike: I can help you with—
Twilight Sparkle: Maybe you should leave the castle after all. And go somewhere less... flammable?
Spike: [sighs]
[ponies chattering]
Spike: Hey there, not handsome.
Rarity: [singsongy] Oh, Spike! My, what a fetching ensemble you put together. Very noir-esque. [giggles] I believe Shadow Spade herself would approve.
Spike: Uh, thanks.
Rarity: But I wonder if you wouldn't mind taking it off.
Spike: What? Oh, I, uh... I... [muttering lowly]
Rarity: Sorry, you'll have to speak up. My ears are a little bit clogged or something. It's just that I absolutely must have a model for my phoenix feather dress, and nopony else is available.
Spike: Sorry, Rarity, but I... I am super busy all day giving... tours of the school!
Pinkie Pie: Really? I thought I was giving tours today. Guess not. Free day! Whee! Woo-hoo!
Spike: Classrooms are that way. [groans] Dorms are that way. [groans] Twilight's office is up there. This is a fountain.
Tourist Pony: [panting] Could you slow down a bit? We've come a long way to see the school, and I don't wanna miss anything.
Spike: Oh. Um, yeah. [wincing, scratching] Sorry.
Tourist Pony: I-Is something wrong?
Spike: What? Why? No! [scratching]
Tourist Pony: Uh, do all the dragons at this school suffer from scale issues?
Spike: [low voice] I don't know.
Tourist Pony: What?
Spike: [low voice, straining] I don't... know!
Tourist Pony: I-I'm sorry, did-did you say "firework show"?
Spike: [low voice] I said... [loudly, echoing] I don't know! [gasps]
Spike: [echoing] This is the school library! It's one of the most serene spots on campus, where students can spend time in quiet reflection or study! What?!
Smolder: Could you please stop shouting? We're trying to do our homework, and it's kind of distracting.
Spike: [loud voice] Was I shouting?!
[affirmative muttering]
Spike: [clears throat, normal volume] I have no idea what you're talking— Ulp! [belches, breathes fire]
[thud]
Spike: [gasps and groans]
Spike: [breathing fire]
[door opens]
Smolder: If you're trying to hide, you need to do a better job. All I had to do was follow the smoke.
[door closes]
Spike: [low voice, straining] Leave me alone!
Smolder: What?
Spike: [low voice, straining] Leave! Me! Alone!
Smolder: I can't under... Was that "sleeves made of foam"?
Spike: [low voice] I said, leave [normal voice] me alone! [belches, breathes fire, sighs]
Smolder: [laughs] Wow! I have seen some pretty bad molts in my time, but yours takes the cake!
Spike: Molts?
Smolder: The molt? Super painful stone scales, fire burps, uncontrollable volume shifts? It's all part of growing up dragon. Congrats!
[smack!]
Spike: [groans and winces]
Smolder: Oh. Sorry.
Spike: No-no-no-no-no. The last time I grew up, I turned into a giant greedy monster.
Smolder: Greed-induced bigness. That's totally different. The molt is completely normal. Every dragon goes through it. Pretty soon, you'll leave and strike out on your own.
Spike: Why would I do that?
Smolder: Have you been living with ponies your whole life?
Spike: Uh-huh.
Smolder: Oh. Well, in the Dragon Lands, a molter's loved ones kicks them out at the first stone scale.
Spike: What? Why?
Smolder: I think it's biological. We call it the "molt effect". I haven't even told you about the smell.
Spike: Smell? [sniffs] Ugh!
Smolder: Yeah. I mean, I love my brother and all, but one whiff, and I was all "See ya!" [sniffs] Speaking of which...
Spike: Wait! Does the molt effect happen to ponies too? [gasps] Twilight already asked me to leave the castle today. If she kicks me out, where am I gonna live? I'm too young to grow up!
Smolder: I'm sure you'll find a nice...
[thud]
Smolder: ...hoard of gems to guard or a village to terrorize. Oh, now that dragons and ponies are friends, I guess that's off the table.
Spike: So no creature's gonna wanna be around me?
Smolder: Oh, I didn't say that. That molt stench is a magnet for predators. Tatzlwurms, hydras, rocs...
Spike: Dragons are scared of rocks?
Smolder: R-O-C-S. Rocs? Humongous birds of prey that can snack on a molting dragon like candy!
Spike: [low voice] So Twilight's kicking me out, and the only creatures who don't find me disgusting want to eat me?
Smolder: Seriously, I heard none of that.
Spike: [loud voice] Twilight's kicking me out, and the only creatures who don't find me disgusting want to eat me?!
Smolder: Congrats!
[door opens]
Pinkie Pie: [shouting] Hey! Is this the shouting closet?! Because I've got a free day, and I'm totally up for some shouting! [sniffs] [normal voice] Also, where's that brussel-sprouts-covered-in-cotton-candy smell coming from? Because it is really interesting.
Spike: I didn't know where else to go. I can't take the chance that Twilight will kick me out. You aren't feeling any molt effects, are you?
Zecora: [nose plugged] When it comes to breakouts, I've seen all circumstances. But as with the molt smell... let's not take any chances.
Spike: [scratches, sighs] Is there anything you can do to cure me?
Zecora: The ailments you have aren't something to cure. The molt's a condition that dragons endure.
Spike: [scratches] But if anypony sees or smells me right now, they'll be so grossed out, they'll avoid me forever!
Zecora: Perhaps we can lessen this strange molt effect. The smell is the most likely cause, I suspect.
Spike: [low voice] It's all so embarrassing.
Zecora: I know you are speaking, but I can't hear a thing. Are you talking about teaching asparagus to sing?
Spike: [low voice] I said it's [loud voice] embarrassing!
Zecora: If the goal is to not have your friends all depart, perhaps your volume is where we should start.
[stomach rumbling]
Spike: Oh, no. [gags, belches, breathes fire, sighs]
Rarity: Zecora! Hello? Are you there?
Spike: [loud voice] I can't let Rarity see me like this! Please don't let her know I'm here!
[knocking on door]
[door opens]
Rarity: [loudly] Oh, dear! I'm talking even louder than I thought, aren't I?!
Zecora: I have volume concerns today by the scores. But it seems that I'm ready to help you with yours.
Rarity: [loudly] Eh, I-I'm sorry?! I can't seem to hear anything! I was hoping you could help! I have no idea what happened! One minute, I was sewing phoenix feathers onto a dress, and the next I couldn't hear my own voice!
Zecora: Ah, the feathers of that bird can affect ponies' ears. It's a magic ailment I've treated for years.
Rarity: [loudly] I only know you're talking 'cause your mouth is going up and down. [sighs, sniffs, coughs] [normal volume] Oh, goodness! I hope that incredibly pungent odor belongs to some sort of magical curative. [loudly] I hope you're not busy, but I must have my hearing back! It turns out that I talk to myself while I sew, and without that conversation, I simply can't think!
Zecora: It's a simple cure, and the directions are clear. Just one or two drops in each of your ears.
Rarity: [sighs, normal volume] Oh, thank you. You're an ear saver. [loudly] Oh, and while I am here, do you have any blemish cream?! Spike is having some scale issues!
Spike: [loud voice] You have no idea!
Rarity: [gasps, normal voice] I think I heard something! [loudly] Your cure is working already!
Zecora: The cream that you want is just over here. It's a popular potion for all creatures this year.
Rarity: [sighs, normal voice] Thank you, Zecora.
[window creaks]
[door opens]
Rarity: [loudly] I don't mean to be rude, but I do think your hut could use an airing out!
Zecora: Rarity's gone. There's no need to hide. [sniffs, groans] Thought I wonder if we should continue outside. Can't treat your symptoms down there on the ground. It's safe to come out. There's no ponies around.
Spike: I'm not hiding from ponies. I'm hiding from that!
[roc screeches]
[roc screeches]
Spike: Did I forget to mention the molt smell attracts predators?
Zecora: That's something that would've been quite nice to know! But it's not worth discussing right now! We should go!
[roc screeching]
Spike: It's only after me! I'll lead it away while you get help! This way, birdy-bird! Molting dragon over here! [grunting and huffing]
[leaves rustling]
Spike: Okay, maybe this wasn't a good plan.
Zecora: You can't hide in a tree! You have to come down! We stand a much better chance on the ground! [screams]
Spike: Zecora! Bring her back! [groans, scratches]
[roc screeches]
Spike: [panting]
[thud]
Rarity: Oh, Spike. What are you doing here?
Spike: Rarity! You have to get out of here! There's a giant roc trying to eat me! It's got Zecora!
Rarity: Yes, what? [loudly] I was just at Zecora's, but I'm heading back! I can't read these instructions! Does this say "two drops once a day" or "one drop twice a day"?!
Spike: Rarity, there's no time! We have to get help!
Rarity: [loudly] Yes, my ears are completely clogged! Why, Spike! Your stone scales look worse! Oh, here! I picked up just the thing. Ah—
[roc screeches]
Rarity: [screams]
Zecora: Oh, I wish you'd escaped either claw of this bird! But the both of us trapped in the same one's absurd!
Rarity: [loudly] What?!
Spike: [groans] Let my ponies go!
[thudding]
Spike: Whoa! [breathes fire]
[roc screeches]
Spike: [screams, groaning]
[grinding sounds]
Spike: [sighs, scratches, wailing groans]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike, what are you doing?
Spike: If my stone scales didn't itch so much and we weren't in immediate danger, this would be [chuckles] really embarrassing!
Twilight Sparkle: Danger?
[roc screeching]
[teleportation zaps]
Twilight Sparkle: Well, I was headed to Zecora's to get some cream for your scales. I had no idea you were—
Spike: [groans] About to be eaten by a giant predator attracted to my molt smell?! [scratches]
Twilight Sparkle: Molt smell?
[roc screeches]
Rarity: [high-pitched] Twilight!
Spike: Whoa!
Twilight Sparkle: Was that Rarity?
Spike: And Zecora! I tried to save them, but it's all I can do to stop scratching long enough to dive out of the way when that bird attacks!
[magic zaps]
Rarity: [loudly] This isn't the first time I've been in the clutches of a horrible giant creature, but it doesn't get any easier! [cries]
[magic zaps]
Spike: [gasps, sighs] Finally! I didn't think that itching would ever stop!
[cracking sounds]
Spike: What's happening?! I... I can't move!
[magic zaps]
[cracking sounds]
Spike: What just... happened? Did I just sprout wings? I just sprouted wings!
[magic zaps]
[roc screeches]
Spike: [gasps] I've gotta help them! W-Whoa! Whooaaa! [yelping]
[thuds]
[magic zaps]
Spike: Whoops.
Twilight Sparkle: Spike?! How did you get wings?!
Spike: I don't know! But they're pretty aweso– Whoa!
[roc screeches]
Twilight Sparkle: Do you think you can fly up and distract him while I work on freeing Zecora and Rarity?
Spike: Hey, giant chicken! If you like dragons so much, come and get me!
[beak snapping]
Spike: Greetings.
[beak snaps]
[stomach rumbling]
Spike: [breathes fire]
Rarity: [screams]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike!
Zecora: I know that the molt produced surprising things. But I'm glad that the last was a new pair of wings!
Rarity: [loudly] Yes! And also, I'm glad you've got wings!
Twilight Sparkle: This is amazing! I didn't know if you'd ever get wings. I'm so happy for you. Does it have something to do with this molt you were talking about?
Spike: [sighs] It's what's been going on with me. The breakout, the fire burps. The molt is when dragons get older and start to change. I wish I could stop it, but I can't. I-I should go.
Twilight Sparkle: Go? What are you talking about?
Spike: In the Dragon Lands, families make molters leave home. It's called the molt effect.
Twilight Sparkle: Well, this isn't the Dragon Lands, and molt effect or no, I don't want you going anywhere.
Spike: But I'm growing up. What if something even worse happens?
Twilight Sparkle: You're supposed to grow up, but you'll always be you. And whatever happens, we'll get through it together.
Spike: Woo-hoo! Yeah! Woo-hoo! Look at me! Let's go home!
Twilight Sparkle: Uh, I don't need to carry you anymore, do I? You have wings.
Spike: They are new, and I don't want to overdo it.
Twilight Sparkle: [groans]
Rarity: I can't believe you thought any of us would send you away because of some silly molt effect. [sighs] Even if the symptoms were slightly unsettling. And let's face it, the odor wasn't pleasant. Nopony would stop caring for you just because you were getting older. Everypony goes through changes, but sometimes change can be wonderful. Like being able to model for any length of dress! [giggles] Uh, a bit higher, darling, please?
Spike: I'm glad to help, Rarity. But don't you think there's wonderful things about flying that don't involve dresses?
Rarity: Of course, darling. Flying will also be beneficial for you to help me with gowns, frocks, robes, shifts, skirts, minis, maxis... [fades out]
Spike: [sighs]
[credits]