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Transcripts/The One Where Pinkie Pie Knows

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Episode The One Where Pinkie Pie Knows
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Pinkie Pie: Five hundred and sixty-six, five hundred and sixty-seven, five hundred and sixty-eight... Phew! Look at that, Pound Cake! I am so close to breaking my personal cupcake-icing record!
Mrs. Cake: My goodness! I can't believe what I'm seeing here!
Pinkie Pie: Pretty impressive if I do say so myself.
Mrs. Cake: Pinkie, would you mind watching the counter while I pop to the supply room? We've just received a very special order, and the ingredients need to be perfect.
Pumpkin Cake: [squeals]
Pinkie Pie: Okie-dokie-lokie.
Mrs. Cake: Thanks, dear!
[zip]
[thud]
Pinkie Pie: A baby?! Shining Armor and Princess Cadance are having a baby?! [squeals] This is the best news ever! I can't wait to tell Twilight!
Mrs. Cake: Oh, em, Pinkie, uh... [whispers] it's a top secret surprise.
Mrs. Cake and Pumpkin Cake: [prolonged shushing]
[door closes]
Pinkie Pie: A top secret surprise?! That means I have to keep the exciting news... [gulps] ...to myself!
[theme song]
Pinkie Pie: Even though I didn't technically make a Pinkie Promise to Mrs. Cake, I can't tell Twilight or anypony the big news! That would make me a... a... a big old surprise ruiner! Right, Gummy?
Gummy: [sucking on pacifier]
Pinkie Pie: Did you take that from Pound Cake again? Don't you know it's wrong to steal from a baby?
Rarity: What's all this about a baby?
Pinkie Pie: What? Who? What? Who said something about a baby?!
Rarity: You did, Ms. Pie, just now. What were you talking about?
[pop]
Pinkie Pie: [sucking on pacifier]
Twilight Sparkle: Great! Everypony's here. Now I don't have to wait any longer to tell you all the wonderful news! Somepony special is coming to visit Ponyville, and I need your help getting everything ready!
[main cast chattering]
Twilight Sparkle: It's...
Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle: Shining Armor and Princess Cadance!
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, and they're coming—
Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle: Tomorrow!
[beat]
Twilight Sparkle: Yes, on the—
Pinkie Pie: Friendship Express rather than the Crystal Empire train so as not to cause too much of a scene when they skip town to come visit? [squee]
Twilight Sparkle: Yes.
Pinkie Pie: Annnnnd?
Twilight Sparkle: And that's it.
Pinkie Pie: Oh.
Rainbow Dash: Uh, how did you know all that?
Pinkie Pie: [nervous laugh] Uh... Pinkie Sense?
[stretching noise]
Rainbow Dash: So, you said you needed our help with something?
Twilight Sparkle: Follow me.
Rainbow Dash: Sweet posters! Is that Smash Fortune?
Twilight Sparkle: It sure is! When Shining Armor said he wanted to come to the castle and visit, I started collecting things he liked when he was a colt as a surprise!
Pinkie Pie: Surprise?! [nervous laugh]
Twilight Sparkle: I've been so excited that it's been hard to keep it to myself!
Pinkie Pie: [slightly muffled] I have no idea what that's like!
Fluttershy: Aww, look at the cute little ant farm!
[ant screeches]
Spike: And check out all these old comic books!
Twilight Sparkle: Be careful! They're mint-in-bag!
Spike: [blowing] [nervous whistling]
Pinkie Pie: What's this?
Twilight Sparkle: This is Brutus Force. Shining Armor used to carry him around like his baby!
Pinkie Pie: Yeah! [nervous laugh] Really cute! [nervous laugh]
Rarity: It is a bit juvenile for castle décor, but it is very sweet of you.
Fluttershy: I'm sure Shining Armor will love it.
Twilight Sparkle: Me, too. But there's a few more things I'd like to add before he gets here, and I could really use a hoof collecting them.
Applejack: Whatever you need, sugarcube, we'll help you get it.
Rest of main cast sans Twilight: [various agreements]
Twilight Sparkle: Thanks, everypony! I just can't wait 'til they walk in and see everything!
Rainbow Dash: Totally understandable. Watching somepony else be surprised with something is almost better than being the one who's getting the surprise!
Pinkie Pie: But... eh... what if the surprise is something so incredibly exciting that a pony can't keep it in any longer, and she has to tell the pony standing next to her what it is or she might explode?!
Fluttershy: I would say... no.
Rarity: The pony who ruins a surprise for somepony else has to live with that guilt forever!
Pinkie Pie: [nervous laugh] Gotta bounce!
[pinball noises]
[crash]
Rainbow Dash: So, I know the bar is set pretty high, but does anypony else think Pinkie Pie was acting weirder than usual?
[zoom]
[door shuts]
Pinkie Pie: [heavy breathing] Phew, that was close! Too close. I almost spilled the beans. Beans that would be really hard to clean up! I obviously can't be around my friends right now. Or anypony for that matter! Hmmm... That's it! If Shining Armor and Cadance are coming tomorrow, then all I have to do is lock myself in my room away from everypony until they arrive! Then I won't ruin anything!
Mr. Cake: Oh, good, you're back! Mrs. Cake needs my help, but these deliveries can't wait! I can't thank you enough for agreeing to be my backup delivery pony, Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie: I... did?
Mr. Cake: Maybe I should hire somepony to be my backup delivery pony.
Pinkie Pie: I'll do it!
Mr. Cake: Really?
Pinkie Pie: Sure! There's no possible way that I could ever have anything that might interfere with doing that task, like a gigantic, emotionally exhausting surprise that would make it super hard to be around other ponies.
Mr. Cake: Great! Uh, you're sure you won't change your mind?
Pinkie Pie: No way! Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!
Pinkie Pie: Oh, yeah. I Pinkie Promised I'd do it. And I never break a Pinkie Promise! Never!
Mr. Cake: Well, thanks again! You're a real cake-saver!
Pinkie Pie: [deflates, sighs] Hm. Maybe it'll be a quiet day and I can just avoid everypony!
[cart squeaking]
Apple Bloom: Hiya, Pinkie Pie!
Sweetie Belle: Heard any good gossip today?
Scootaloo: Yeah, we're bored. Please say you have some interesting news.
Pinkie Pie: Nope!
[thump]
Pinkie Pie: Ugh! Fluttershy, what a surprise! I mean, not a surprise! [squee]
Fluttershy: You were in such a rush earlier. Twilight wanted me to ask you if you would bring some snacks to the castle for Shining Armor and Cadance's visit.
Pinkie Pie: Definitely! Got it! Pinkie Promise! Yeah! Heh.
Fluttershy: You know, maybe some baby carrots...
Pinkie Pie: [nervous laugh] What did you say?!
Fluttershy: Baby carrots! They're Shining Armor's favorite.
Pinkie Pie: Mine too! Baby carrots are kinda like big carrots but smaller, kinda like how foals are tiny versions of their parents but smaller and cuter and— Albino squirrel!
Fluttershy: Where? Is it Albert?
Pinkie Pie: It's time to kick this operation into hyper-hoof and avoid all ponies by any means necessary!
[cart squeaking]
[knocking]
[door opens]
[zoom]
[sewing machine clicking]
[light splashing]
Pinkie Pie: It didn't feel good ignoring my friends like that... Maybe I can tell just one little pony the surprise?
Rarity: [with reverb] The pony who ruins a surprise for somepony else has to live with that guilt forever!
Pinkie Pie: You're right, spooky-reflection-of-Rarity-that-I-know-is-actually-my-own-imagination. I can't tell anypony at all! [sighs] Then they would tell Twilight, and she wouldn't be surprised, and it would be all my fault.
Pinkie Pie: [sighs] Finally, I'm all aloney on my owney.
[paper rustling]
Pinkie Pie: Wow, great idea! I'm starving too! [chewing] [with mouth full] This apple is delicious! [swallows] What are you having, Gummy? Oh, no! It's the list that Twilight helped me make yesterday so I wouldn't forget all of my Pinkie Promises today! And I have three more things to do! Aw, four if you count bringing those snacks to Twilight's castle! I've been getting liberal with those Pinkie Promises lately...
[balloons squeaking]
Sweetie Belle: Ooh! I want a flamingo!
[balloons squeaking]
Apple Bloom: I want a goldfish!
[balloons squeaking]
Scootaloo: Surprise me!
[balloons squeaking]
[baby crying]
Scootaloo: Is that a... baby bottle?
Pinkie Pie: [screams] No! It's a... a... puppy! Ha ha, woof woof, ha ha! Eh...
Scootaloo: Are you sure? Because it looks like a—
Pinkie Pie: Next!
Featherweight: Uh, a baby pony, please! Uh, unless of course that would be a royal pain...
Pinkie Pie: Interesting choice of words, Featherweight.
Featherweight: Was it?
Pinkie Pie: I don't know. Was it?
Featherweight: Uh, maybe you'd better just make me a giraffe.
[filing cabinets closing]
Mayor Mare: My, your friends weren't kidding when they said you had a great filing system, Pinkie! You are Ponyville's best kept secret!
Pinkie Pie: No, I'm not!
Mayor Mare: [hushed] Speaking of secrets, have you ever known somepony else's secret?
[papers rustling]
Pinkie Pie: Noooooo...
Mayor Mare: [hushed] A surprise that was so big and exciting that it was all you could think about?
Pinkie Pie: Nope!
Mayor Mare: [strangled sigh] Me neither...
[balloon inflating]
"Wooden Legs": [laughing] That's just what I wanted. Thanks, Pinkie!
Pinkie Pie: You're welcome!
"Wooden Legs": Oh, by the way, can you help spread the word about the big crib sale I'm having?
Pinkie Pie: [reading] "Treat your foal like... royalty"?!
[thump]
"Wooden Legs": [laughing] Pretty good slogan, huh? I came up with it all by myself!
Pinkie Pie: [screaming]
"Wooden Legs": Oh. I thought it was clever.
[balloon deflates]
Twilight Sparkle: Those look yummy, Pinkie! Let me help you! But we better cover them up so they don't get spoiled.
Pinkie Pie: Why would they get spoiled? We're all gonna eat them super soon!
Applejack: Oh, didn't anypony tell you? Shining Armor and Cadance are held up. They may not arrive 'til Saturday.
Pinkie Pie: Whaaaaaaaaaat?! [hyperventilating] You mean... [breathes] I have... [breathes] to wait... [breathes] another whole day?! I don't know if I can!
Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, do you have something you need to say? You seem like you've been keeping something in.
Pinkie Pie: [inarticulate yell]
Fluttershy: We're here to listen.
Applejack: Well, go on then, sugarcube.
Rarity: We're not going to judge you, darling.
Spike: You'll feel so much better once you get it off your chest!
Pinkie Pie: [blowing up balloon]
Rainbow Dash: Come on.
[balloon pops]
Rainbow Dash: Whatever it is, you can tell us! We're best friends! [with reverb] Friends! Friends! Friends!
Twilight Sparkle: [with reverb] Tell!
Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle: [with reverb] Tell! Tell!
Main cast sans Pinkie Pie: Friends! Friends! Friends! Tell! Tell! Tell!
Pinkie Pie: Okay, okay, you win! [inhales] Shining Armor and Cadance are gonna have a—
Shining Armor: An awesome weekend with the best little sister in all of Equestria!
Princess Cadance: [giggles] Hi, everypony.
Pinkie Pie: [exhales]
Twilight Sparkle: Shining Armor, Cadance! You're early! I thought something had come up and you weren't gonna make it until Saturday!
Princess Cadance: So did we. Turned out we weren't needed in Maretonia until next week. And the summit we were supposed to attend today had to be rescheduled, so... we got here even sooner than planned!
Shining Armor: Surprise!
Princess Cadance: It's wonderful to see you all again!
Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Rarity: [chattering]
Applejack: Well, the pleasure's all ours, Princess.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm so glad you're here! I have a big surprise for you!
Shining Armor: Oh, yeah?
Main cast sans Pinkie Pie and Shining Armor: [chattering]
Shining Armor: [hushed] Lucky we came when we did, huh? I'm guessing you saw the scroll we sent to Mr. and Mrs. Cake? Hey, I'm impressed you've been able to keep our secret this long!
Pinkie Pie: So you're gonna tell Twilight now?!
[honk]
Main cast sans Pinkie Pie and Shining Armor: [chattering]
Shining Armor: [hushed] You're gonna have to wait just a little bit longer. We have something special planned. It'll be worth it, I promise.
Pinkie Pie: It'd better be.
Applejack: So, do you think Shining Armor liked his surprise?
Twilight Sparkle: Didn't you see him? He couldn't stop raving about it!
Shining Armor: [excited horse noises]
Rainbow Dash: Where did Shining Armor and Cadance say they'd meet us? [stomach rumbling] I'm starving!
Twilight Sparkle: In the town square. I wish they'd waited to walk over with us, but they said they had something to take care of first!
Pinkie Pie: [through gritted teeth] They're gonna have a lot more to take care of soon...
Twilight Sparkle: What?
Pinkie Pie: Nothiiiiiiing!
[zoom]
Twilight Sparkle: That's odd. Usually they're quite punctual.
Rainbow Dash: Ughhh! I need a hayburger in my belly right now!
Twilight Sparkle: What's this? [gasps]
Rarity: What does it say?
Twilight Sparkle: A scavenger hunt! Shining Armor used to set these up for me when I was a filly! At the end, there was always a big prize, like a new book, or several new books, or—
Pinkie Pie: We get the picture! You like books!
Applejack: So what's the first clue?
Rainbow Dash: I hope it's something about eating lunch!
Pinkie Pie: [reading quickly] "You've got a scroll, you're on a roll, why don't you take a peek where young ones spend their week? A piece of paper will continue this caper."
Twilight Sparkle: I've got it! "Where the young ones spend their week."
Applejack: I'm not quite followin'.
[school bell ringing]
Twilight Sparkle: It's the Ponyville Schoolhouse!
Pinkie Pie: Good enough for me! Now where's the next clue? [panting like a dog] [sniffing] [sneezes]
Featherweight: Extra, extra! Get your Ponyville news! Read it in the paper! Extra, extra! [continues repeating under]
Twilight Sparkle: "A piece of paper will continue this caper." [gasps] It's in the Foal Free Press!
[paper rustling]
Rarity: Ooh, look at that dress Mayor Mare is wearing in the social report! Why, it's stunning!
Applejack: Uh, didn't you make that, Rarity?
Rarity: Yes, what is your point?
Pinkie Pie: Focus, everypony!
Twilight Sparkle: You know, there's really no time limit on these scavenger hunts, Pinkie.
Pinkie Pie: Aha! There! [tapping paper]
Twilight Sparkle: [reading] "Though this hall is rather small, in it you'll find files of all kinds. Take a look on the back of the birth certificate of Applejack."
Applejack: I don't like where this is goin'.
[zoom]
[knee-knocking noises]
Mayor Mare: Baby! A royal ba—!
Pinkie Pie: A-hem?
Twilight Sparkle: Does anypony know where the birth certificates are kept?
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! I do, I do! Go down that hall, then you take a left, then a right, then another right, then a slight left, and it's the third door from the right!
Fluttershy: Wow, Pinkie. I never knew you knew so much about town hall.
Pinkie Pie: There's a lot of things I know! That you don't know I know!
[folders rustling]
Fluttershy: Oh, you're so cute.
Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle: [giggling]
Twilight Sparkle: [reading] "This next place is where you can buy a table or chair, or some comfy beds to rest little heads"?
[zip]
[beat]
Pinkie Pie: Ugh, really? None of you? [groan] It's obviously the furniture store! Go in, go in, go in!
Twilight Sparkle: I don't know...
Pinkie Pie: Daagh, fine!
[rumbling and commotion]
[crash]
Rainbow Dash: Wow, you're scary good at this, Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie: [reading quickly] "It seems we've saved the best for last. We hope that you have had a blast. Now it's time to take a break where you can get a slice of cake!"
Main cast sans Pinkie Pie: Sugarcube Corner!
Pinkie Pie: [scoffs] That was an easy one.
[door opens, bell rings]
Shining Armor: Surprise! Twily, did you like the scavenger hunt?
Twilight Sparkle: It was perfect! Just like old times, except even better because this time I got to share it with my best friends! There's just one thing missing, isn't there?
Shining Armor: What's that?
Twilight Sparkle: Mmmm, the book prize at the end!
Shining Armor: [laughs] There's still a prize, but it's a little different this time.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh. I don't understand.
Pinkie Pie: [giggles quietly]
Princess Cadance: All the places we sent you today had something in common.
Twilight Sparkle: First we went to the schoolhouse...
Pinkie Pie: [trembling]
Twilight Sparkle: And then we read the Foal Free Press... After that we found Applejack's birth certificate... And then the last clue was under a crib.
Pound and Pumpkin Cake: [giggling]
Twilight Sparkle: Hmmm... School... foal... birth certificate... and crib... [gasps] Can it be? Are you two...?!
Princess Cadance and Shining Armor: We're having a baby!
Pinkie Pie: A baby, Twilight! It's a baby! Woo-hoo!
Twilight Sparkle: You mean... I'm going to be an aunt?! This is the best prize ever!
Princess Cadance and Shining Armor: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I love you guys! And I can't wait to meet your little foal!
Shining Armor: Neither can we.
[chattering]
Pinkie Pie: I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it! [squee] [pop] Go, Pinkie.
[chattering]
Princess Cadance: [giggles] You did it, Pinkie Pie! You kept it a surprise! Thank you! Was it much trouble?
Pinkie Pie: Piece of cake! [squee]
[credits]

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