Just a quick blog in a time of drought.

Zephyr Breeze

Zephyr closes Rainbow's mouth for her S6E11
  • As socially awkward as his big sis, if not more so
  • Scrapes by on every test without studying
  • May or may not show up to class
  • May or may not use excessive sick days
  • Does not know how to study
  • Does not know how to shave
  • Terrified of anything requiring effort
  • On the border about college; will not survive if accepted
  • Will blame everything but himself if that happens
  • Thinks he's doing Rainbow Dash a favor by... sharing his intelligence or something
  • Obviously only single because it's the nice guy who finishes last
  • Why we need bullying in today's schools

Starlight Glimmer

Starlight Glimmer snaps S5E2
  • Who the hay is this broad?
  • Campaigns for CHS student council every year
  • Oh, that broad
  • Never elected
  • Likes to stand and wave a sign
  • Protests in support of dress code and school uniform (???)
  • Enjoys power vacuum left by Sunset Shimmer
  • Still about as popular as marmite
  • Talks to herself when she thinks no one is listening
  • Desperately wants to tear down the popular kids
  • Nags her mom into packing peanut butter crackers every morning

Mr. Tirek

Tirek smile S4E26
  • That one guy who looks more like a biker than a teacher
  • Was the surly guidance counselor at Crystal Prep
  • THE worst person to seek guidance from
  • Now teaches intro to psych at CHS
  • Wants the principal's job
  • Probably steals the principal's cake from the faculty lounge
  • Probably steals a lot of things
  • Why did we hire this guy again?
  • Has no patience for class clowns
  • Loves the music of his nails upon the blackboard
  • Known to throw things across the room to demonstrate his wrath
  • Once broke a student's glasses with a piece of chalk
  • No longer working at CHS
  • Banned from premises of CHS

Camp Director Aspen

  • Absolute Ruler Director of the lesser-known Camp Thicket
  • Who names a campground Thicket anyway?
  • Strict environmentalist
  • Probably an Olympic-level archer, though he'd never shoot anything that moves on four legs
  • Two legs may not be out of the question
  • His son has never left the campground in his life
  • Spends time concocting educational songs about watersheds and soil horizons
  • Requires that campers leave nature completely undisturbed around the campsite
  • "Paper lanterns? Not in MY woodland!"
  • No fun allowed. Period.
  • Really eased the conscience of the principal who made the Camp Everfree decision
  • Seriously though, can someone check on young Bramble?
  • But damn, that Camp Thicket really is clean

Tree Hugger

Tree Hugger "I meet a lot of different creatures" S5E7
  • Textbook eco-kid on the surface
  • Oddball even among the eco-kids
  • Disappears every third period, with or without a hall pass
  • Smells kinda funky
  • Surprisingly involved in Earth Day planning; too bad every sensible eco-kid is there to shoot her down
  • Unsurprisingly uninvolved in everything else
  • Loved her time at Camp Thicket
  • Most locker searches per any one student in CHS history
  • Perfectly clean record
  • Bit of an anomaly to the staff
  • Just might have some dirt on the janitor
  • Just might have forgotten who the janitor is


King Sombra smirking evilly S5E25
  • Enjoys darkness, smoke, and sharp edges
  • Longs to see his peers beneath his heel
  • Longs to make use of the dark powers in his possession
  • Longs to crush the institution that moulded him this way
  • "Some of you guys are alright. Don't go to school tomorrow if you're in Crystal Prep."
  • Whatever happened to Principal Amor- Ohhhh...

Ms. Gourmand

Zesty Gourmand "I hardly think it matters" S6E12
  • Teaches cooking elective during spring semester
  • Only pretends to add seasoning
  • Arch-nemesis of Pinkamena Diane Pie
  • Honestly an easy A
  • Glorified game of follow the leader
  • She wrote the cookbook, so just do what's written
  • Likely used to be famous, but no one is interested in checking
  • Visits the lunchroom just to scoff
  • Still bitter because the principal won't let her remodel the faculty lounge
  • Caught trying to move the coffee maker anyway


Queen Chrysalis "do as I command" S6E26
  • Christ on a bike, that's a student?
  • Been at CHS longer than much of the staff
  • Was the queen bee until her original crowd graduated
  • Known to throw public tantrums when she fails to get her way
  • Rumored to be involved in a street gang
  • No one has the nerve to ask why she is still showing up to classes
  • Was a regular at the principal's office until she suddenly got sneaky one day
  • Leaves the building when it's time for lunch
  • Still thinks she can pick up younger guys
  • Very alone

I think I now understand why we haven't seen some of these characters in Equestria Girls.