Heeeeyyyy, Ponyville! It's me, Discord! Tonight, you'll have to Find a Pet, but we'll get to that later. 22 ponies voted, which is a new record! The horrible horrendous hiatus is finally over. Thank you to everypony who voted, so let's get down to business, but seriously, welcome to Pony Voting 5!
Discord: Vinyl Scratch, hit it! (Music credit: Ceep Calm & Cup Cakes by Griffinilla) Template:Userpage/MPC
Derpy: Discud! Discud!
Discord: What the chaos is it, Derpy?
Derpy: Peenkie Pi got her nussle stuck in da cup off cho-kwuit milg again!
Discord: Derpy, just tell her to drink the glass, it really isn't that ha- oh wait, mortal ponies can't do that. Hmm.. I'll see what I can do...
(the two fly over to the kitchen)
Discord: Derpy, get the garden hose.
Discord: Okay, so now we hook it up to the end of the glass... and then it drains away. Feeling better, Pinkie?Pinkie Pie: I SURE AM! Omigosh, I'm so nerve-cited! I wonder which song won! I'm gonna throw a big big BIG party for the winner! That reminds me, do we have any birthdays out there? Oh, I bet there'll be at least fifty birthdays out there! (gasp) Then we can have a super big party! So who's birthday is it? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?
Discord: Well, we put up a Pony Voting Recommendations blog post, but no one had a birthday. I still have some cake here, so I guess it goes to Pinkie Pie. But first, we would like to introduce the recommended characters! They will get cake as well.
Pinkie: Oh boy, what flavor is the super-totally-awesome cake?
Discord: Invisible flavor!
Pinkie: Wow, do you have any other flavors?
Discord: Yes, I do. We have fictional, imaginary, and non-existent cake. Yeah, so Sentrakk wins the riddle, since Throwy is the founder of (cough) Friendship is Magic Wiki. That's just because I made the riddle too easy, right? Right? Oh, wait! We do have a birthday! HurricaneKhaos is celebrating his one year Wiki-versary!
Pinkie: (inhale audibly) Happy Wiki-versary to you and you today! (speed talks) I can't believe you're already a year old time sure flies doesn't it well it seems like only yesterday you joined! (normal speed) 'Cause now you're a year old today! Hey!
Derpy: Peenkie, you havta stop! Discud's alweady bweeding chocquit milg! Eww, it's makking a big mess on da fwoor...
Pinkie: Ooh, chocolate milk? Yay!
Derpy: Peenkie, you dun't underrstand! He's bweeding thwough his ears 'cause he tinks yur singing is annowing. But I dun't tink yur annowing!
Discord: Yeah, listen to her! And bee-tee-double-you, that brilliant song of yours got only two votes, along with The Ticket Song and Cranky Doodle Joy.
Derpy: Hey! You havta reveal dem fwom least to most votes, just wike Meesta Tweesta dus! You know, fow dwamatic affegt?
Discord: Excuse me? Hello, I'm Discord, you know, lord of chaos? I can do what I want! But fine, it looks like I have no choice, apparently. (teleports to stage) We received 22 ballots, which is a new record! Strangely, we got only 94 votes, which isn't a new record. That would be 96 votes in Pony Voting 2. The reason for breaking only one record is the average: 4.27 votes out of a maximum 5, which is the worst ever! It makes me so mad!
Derpy: Hey, you wurn't exactwee de most encuraging host. I miss Meesta Tweesta!
Discord: MOVING ON! Last time, we had 17 candidates:
|Pinkie Pie Songs:|
Place your bets now. If you ever change your bets, Pinkamena Diane Resonsibilty Pie will crawl into your bed at night and smear a cupcake into your hair.
Discord: If you don't get a medal then you will be punished! We'll use Pinkie's egg collection to splatter you with gooey yolk. (snatch)
Derpy: Oh my bubbles! That is so gross!
Pinkie: Hey, that's my egg collection!
Derpy: But wait, wut do we twoh at? Songs arn't living, bweathing ponies!
Discord: That's why I made cardboard cutouts of each song. See, this is still chaotic, right? This song got zero votes, mostly because it was barely ten seconds long.
Pinkie: No duh! That's so short, I can sing that in one breath! See? (inhale)
Discord: (flings egg into Pinkie's mouth) (Pinkie chokes) No! No more singing! Anyway, prepare to get egged, cardboard cutout! (flings egg) I would like to commend Gummygugugaga and Colorsplash for being very independent ponies. In the midst of the media and pop culture in the 21st century, it's very hard to veer off the common track and express you own new, original thoughts. Independence is a very important quality trait that I think we all should learn.
Derpy: But why awe dey indiependant?
Discord: They were the only ones to vote for these two songs!
Rarity: See, I told you the Gala was going out of style!
Pinkie: I know, right?
Discord: Hey! How did Rarity get in here? And why is half of my security pass gone?
Derpy: (whistles innocently)
Discord: Meh, I don't want to know. I'm just going to eggs these two songs along with Rarity, for breaking into the auditorium without permission! (flings eggs at songs)
Rarity: Oh my diamonds! I surrender! I don't want my mane filled with yucky yolk! See, I'm backing out of the auditorium right now... see?
Discord: Si, señorita Rarity. Since we already know which songs got two votes, now we have to move onto those with three!
Pinkie: Good thing Rarity isn't here! All those pigs would splash mud all over her clean, white coat! And I bet those rocks would avalanche on everyone!
Derpy: Wait, dere wasn't anee mud ore wocks in dose songs!
Discord: I agree, there wasn't any ore in those songs! Any, here are your eggs.(flings eggs) We have to give a warm welcome to the half-way point, because with four votes, it's the...
Discord: Oh yeah, Pinkie Pie voted for that song. Or at least her 12345th cousin. Seriously, that's his name: PinkiePie12345. Whatever, here's your egg. (flings egg)
Derpy: Ooh! Ooh! I cun count tuh five! Won, too, tree, for-
Discord: Those aren't Numbers! And homophones make my ears bleed chocolate milk. Except when they're in different languages, like the whole see/si thingy. Here are the final eight, the official half-way mark! All of them have at least five votes.
|At Least Five Votes:|
Discord: And now for an advertisement from Flim and Flam, all the way from the MOON! Pony Voting 5 will be back after these messages. Stay tuned!
Flim: Oh, cool! Cake! Please buy them. In fact, they're free! Too bad that they are only confined to the fictional world.
Flam: But we do sell them in the imaginary, nonexistent, and invisible varieties! PLEASE BUY THEM. We seriously have too many of these.
Flim: This box is one of thousands. We ordered 22, but a Parasprite punched in a few extra zeros. We now have 220,000 cakes. PLEASE BUY THEM!Rates:
Imaginary-An order for 10 fictional cakes
Nonexistent-An order for 10 imaginary cakes
Invisible-An order for 10 nonexistent cakes
Flam: If you vote, you get the honor of eating a cake of the previously stated varieties of your choice!
Flim: If you want a cake, type "I want a cake" along with your ballot! You also get a free magazine called "Equestria Daily," but who cares about that? Get your free cake today!
Flam: We also have this metal backscratcher. It sells for negative 1,000 fictional cakes. It is very relaxing, but it might scratch your skin off. It's kind of sharp at the end, but it has a cool loopy-bendy handle! Nobody can resist that!
Flim: Order one now, and you'll receive 1,000 fictional cakes free of charge! Then you can scratch off your skin with cakes while munching on a thousand metal backscratchers! Yum!
Flam: Also, enter our lottery tonight! The winners get 100 nonexistent cakes. And everyone's a winner, no matter how hard they lose! Seriously, that's just not for sportsmanship- EVERYONE'S A WINNER!
Flim: You can have the thrilling experience of beating the near-impossible odds: one to one, while munching on your 100 metal backscratcher prize.
Flam: Hey, wait... that's not such a bad idea. OHN NOM NOM NOM...
Epilogue: Flam went to the emergency room for metal indigestion. But he returned to the moon the next day for continuity's sake. Flim remained unfazed and continued to sell thousands of cakes to the hungry villains trapped on the moon.
Pinkie Pie: Oh my balloons, that commercial was so boring!
Discord: During the advertisement, I discovered that no songs had fifty votes. Or five votes. So now we must reveal the song with six votes.
Discord: I can't believe this song made it to the half-way point. The music critics Braeburn and Chief Thunderhooves agreed that this was the worst song ever. So much for "sharing is caring". But we are willing to share this egg! (flings egg)
Derpy: Ooh! Ooh! Time foh de lucky sevevens!
Discord: You are correct, Derpy! It is time for the lucky "sevevens". These songs got "seveven" votes:
Pinkie: That's strange, my Parasprite Polka has no lyrics, yet it got so many votes! (sigh) Ponies these days...
Discord: Well, that's just egg-cellent. (flings eggs) Five songs are left, but we only have two more eggs left. The other three will receive medals. These last two future omelets are tied at eight votes:
Derpy: Aww, I weely weely wiked Fwuttuhwage. She shud've gotten a medul!
Discord: Two cardboard omelets coming up! (flings eggs) These are the final three, and each of them with at least nine votes. Since Pinkie's egg collection has run out, all of them will get medals. Coincidentally, all of them end in "Song". So we have laughter, cupcakes, and smiles. Typical Pinkie Pie material. So here are the final three:
|Final Three (At Least Nine Votes):|
Discord: Zero plus one plus one plus two plus two plus two plus three plus three plus four plus six plus seven plus seven plus eight plus eight equals 54 votes, which leaves an even 40 votes for the final three. Hmm... very interesting. The bronze medalist, with nine votes is:
|Nine Votes (Bronze Medal):|
Discord: Cupcakes, here is your medal! (flings medal)
Derpy: Umm, awn't cubcakes kinda cweepy?
Pinkie: I have absolutely no idea what you mean by that. Cupcakes? Creepy? No way! But why do I have the sudden urge to brutally murder Rainbow Dash?
Discord: Moving on! Zero plus one plus one plus two plus two plus two plus three plus three plus four plus six plus seven plus seven plus eight plus eight plus nine equals 63, so only 31 are left for the finalists! They need at least 16 votes to secure a gold medal.
|Final Two (At Least Ten Votes):|
Discord: So, what about those bets?
Derpy: I wike waffing, so I say de Wafter Song!
Pinkie: I think the Smile Song is the best, because it's the longest!
(Octavia drum rolls on a timpani)
Discord: And now... the moment you've all been waiting for... I, Discord, am proud to present the community polled most-voted-for song... the award of the best Pinkie Pie song is...
Pinkie: (gasp) We need a bottle of pop to celebrate! (pop)
Meester Tweester: (tornadoes out of bottle) Whew! Thanks for opening that.
Derpy: Meesta Tweesta! Wii thod Qween Qwisawis captured yoo!
Meester Tweester: Well, she was in a hurry, so she sucked me up onto a bottle using a vacuum cleaner. So she's still on the loose!
Discord: Oh my chaos, that imbecilic meanie! Here, screw the voting! I quit as host, so Meester Tweester can resume his role. Derpy and Pinkie, follow me. We have some unfinished business to settle! (the three march out of the auditorium)
Meester Tweester: Well, it looks like it's just me and you, Octavia. And now... the moment you've all been waiting for... I, Meester Tweester, am proud to present the community polled most-voted-for song... the award of the best Pinkie Pie song is...
|20 Votes (Gold Medal):|
Seriously, was there even any doubt? 20 out of 22 ponies voted for it! While most Pinkie Pie songs are short and random, this one spans over three minutes! This song has a great lesson: to smile every day, even of you don't feel like it. One anon even made this their only vote, saying that "I don't care for the others very much." This song has definitely earned its gold medal, so here it is! (flings medal)
|11 Votes (Silver Medal):|
Let's not for get the Laughter Song, which reminds everypony to laugh along with their smiling! (flings medal)
The Smile Song will also earn its place in the Hall of Fame!
|HALL OF FAME:|
Doctor Whooves a riddle for you guys. If you don't know the reward by now, you need to wake up. You will get a shout-out if you answer it correctly first:
Either this Mane Six-er or this secondary character appears in every episode except for Putting Your Hoof Down (the worst episode). Who are the two lucky ponies?
So that wraps it up for Pony Voting 5. But what are the candidates for Pony Voting 6? You will have to find a pet. Rainbow Dash needs your help, so vote for five of the 16 pets mentioned in this song, plus the ducks and the tortoise that competed in Rainbow Dash's competition.
Rules: You get five votes for five pets. Meester Tweester owns the right to mention your user by name, however, if you would like to be anonymous, please tell us in your ballot.
Please, please, please vote! The faster we get a ton of comments, the faster it gets onto the "Popular Blog Posts" bar, where everypony can see it! I really appreciate your support, and every single comment counts! Voting ends June 30th at midnight UTC time. You get two weeks, because I will be at a camp in the great outdoors for the entire second week. Sorry, I promise Pony Voting will be as weekly as possible after this!
While you are waiting, why don't you recommend a character, shout-out, or feature right here? So, Pony Voting 6 will be up and running July 3rd if everything goes well. This has been Meester Tweester, and goodnight Ponyville!