Heeeeyyyy, Ponyville! It's Meester Tweester! You're gonna vote for M. A. Larson episodes tonight, but we'll get to that later. 26 ponies voted in the fortnight voting period, which is another new record! The hiatus is finally over. Thank you to everypony who voted, so let's get down to business, but seriously, welcome to Pony Voting 6!It's shout out time! So who won Dr. Whooves' riddle? You know, making riddles doesn't fit his personality, now that you think about it. I wonder why I hired him in the first place. Maybe I should fire him and replace him with a recommended character. Anyway, Vengir (the avenger) correctly guessed the riddle first. There was a second answer, but nopony even tried! Shame shame shame. Here it was:
Either this Mane Six-er or this secondary character appears in every episode except for Putting Your Hoof Down (the worst episode). Who are the two lucky ponies?
Vengir answered Twilight Sparkle and Granny Smith. The unclaimed second answer was Twilight Sparkle and Apple Bloom. There might be more out there, but I gave up after half an hour of scouring. Ya know, if you're dedicated enough to find a third or fourth or more answers, you'll also get a shout-out.
Nopony submitted a birthday on the recommended character page, but we did get an anonymous tip of "America's 237th birthday". Must be some really old fellow.
Of course, we have the recommended characters. Strange, there were exactly six, the same number as last time. Here they are in the auditorium seats:
Let's get to the voting already. We got 130 votes from 26 ballots. Both of them are a new record, but you guys don't get a reward 'cause I am feeling kind of lazy today. So yeah, let's divide that so I can laugh at the losers that didn't vote five times. One hundred thirty divided by twenty-six equals... (inhale audibly) FIVE? That's never happened before! To give you great voters a reward, I present to you Sunset Shimmer ...completely naked!
Well, that was kind of unexpected. Okay, so these eighteen pets were up for voting. The gold medalist will be adopted by Rainbow Dash to be her second pet, since Tank is away at the veterinarian, for three weeks and counting. She has these options:
Place those bets. Come on, you should bet your life's earnings, seven of your fingers, the lives of all the pets, and a gumdrop. Pick one of them. Or all of them. Or two or three. But you must bet with one of them. Me, personally, I would go for the lives and the gumdrop, but that's just eye em oh. Or even my eye em ay oh. Except that I'm not ay. Which stands for arrogant. You know, maybe. I. Should. Start. Making. Complete. Sentences. Qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm,.
Only one pet got zero votes. Apparently they didn't like your cuteness.
Ironically, crickets are chirping right now to signify the absence of your fans, thus making a quiet atmosphere so soft that you can hear crickets. You are also the first to get the consolation prize. Today's consolation prizes are animal crackers. If you don't get a medal, you can enjoy being a cannibal instead. Cricket, here is your animal cracker. (flings cracker) (knocks Cricket off platform)
Oops. This pet earned a measly single vote, because, as quoted by Steph physarum: "nobody in real life would seriously own [this pet] that's not in a jar".
Ladybug, you and Cricket were both mentioned the song as a pair. Yet combined you only got one vote. You two would make a very unpopular team. Since your buddy, Cricket, was knocked off his platform, and considering you're even smaller than he is, I'm just going to gently set down your animal cracker. (sets cracker)
We have a tie for three votes. The second vote for the first one was the last Wikia contributor ballot... ever!
Flamingo, I bet you were just dying to meet Rainbow Dash, but sadly, only Steph physarum, Temmington, and Phantom Dusclops '92 supported you. Monarch Butterfly, since you're even more smaller and even more fragile than Ladybug, I'm not even going to hand it to you. You'll just have to come up here and grab it yourself. What? You don't wanna be a cannibal? Fine, suit yourself. Flamingo, on the other, will be thrown her animal cracker as normal. (throws cracker)
This next pet was never mentioned in the song, which might have lead to just four votes:
Strangely, not one, but two ducks competed in Rainbow Dash's contest. With double the chance of winning, they still lost the contest as well as the vote. Ducks, here is your animal crackers. (flings cracker) (ducks catch in mouths) Nice! Finally somepony isn't afraid to snack on edible replicas of their species, aka cannibalism.
Put on your yellow jackets, because with five votes, it's...
Though you did not win, you have the small consolation of being the record-breaking vote, which was the 97th vote. For that, you will get two animal crackers, set beside you, of course. (sets cracker)
We are one-third of the way done, while the remaining twelve of the total eighteen are left. You pets have at least six votes:
|At Least Six Votes:|
So, how are those bets doing? What? You didn't bet anything? I think you're missing the concept of betting. Those gumdrops and fingers aren't going to bet themselves. Rainbow Dash came in earlier today and betted with 100 animal crackers, so why shouldn't you? Maybe I should not be encouraging gambling, children might be listening.
Okay, enough chit chat. We need to reveal the next cannibalists, with six votes:
Outrageous! That is a HUGE tie! Otter, it turns out you had the 100th vote, so your prize is 100 animal crackers! However, Vengir says that "Bat just stole it", since his ballot was edited. Sharing is caring, so Otter and Bat get 50 animal crackers each. (flings two bags of crackers) Munch on those while you wait on the others.
Bunny, Seal, Flying Squirrely, Hummingbird, and Owl, I have bad news. We have only one animal cracker for the five of you, since you all tied! Fans, you might think that's unfair, since Monarch Butterfly and Flamingo got crackers and they tied. But you have to remember that I offered one to Monarch Butterfly, he refused, which means only one animal cracker was collected from that tie.
So, get ready to battle for that single animal cracker! I'm a big fan of voice acting, if you hadn't already picked up that Pony Voting is a radio show, so I have a lot of recording studios on my hands. You five pets will find yourself in five recording studios, one for each of you. According to Rainbow Dash, this is the "coolness" division of her competition, but I put it as "however has the best growl wins". You guys can practice for a bit, since it's time for the break! And now a word from our sponsors... (radio crackle)
Flim and Flam: Customers-
(radio crackle) ...and that was a word from our sponsors. Did everypony practice enough? I hope so since this competition starts NOW! Bunny, you're up first. (My comments are in italics)
Seal: Ort-ort, ort ort-ort ort! Sorta cool.
Bunny: Snuffle... sniffle... Not cool.
Owl: Hoooooooooooooooooooooooot. Pretty cool!
Flying Squirrely: Tktktttkttkktkttkktkk. Could be cooler...
Hummingbird: Chirp chirp chir-chirp chiirrp? Now that is cool!
Hummingbird, you have won the animal cracker! Since you are also known for your agility, I think you can catch this, even though you're fragile! (flings cracker) (catches in beak) Bunny, Seal, Flying Squirrelly, and Owl, I'm afraid you'll have to go home cracker-less today. Keep on working on those growls!
Start collecting in the fabulous bets from your peers. Out of the total eighteen pets, only the top third is left- the final six! They all have at least nine votes, and a 50/50 shot at a medal!
|At Least Nine Votes:|
Since nopony earned seven or eight votes after the huge tie, so we are at nine votes, obviously the last single-digit voted candidate. Ooh, Tortoise looks so scared he might pop back into his shell! At nine votes, it's...
Looks like you are safe for another round, Tortoise. Toucan, looks like your beak didn't save you this time. I know it's very large and colorful, but that just wasn't enough for a medal. Here is your animal cracker. (flings cracker)
Okay, this is getting intense now! Every pet has double-digit votes so the stakes are high! Tortoise looks so scared he might pop back into his shell and flip himself over, too. The next cracker-er, with ten votes is...
Tortoise, even though I can't see you, I can still see your shell. Here is the final animal cracker. (tosses cracker into shell hole)
Wait, did I say the final cracker? Yes I did! Puddy Tat, Falcon, Eagle, and Bat will all get medals! One for gold, one for silver, and two for bronze, since we have another tie for third place! Continue to enjoy the thought of your prestigious medals, because we have another break coming up. (what, the first was only a word long!) Let's go see (or hear) how Pinkie, Derpy and Discord are doing on their quest to find Queen Chrysalis.
(Derpy, Pinkie, and Discord are traveling through the forest)
Derpy: Uggh, mie wings are tiaed.
Discord: You know, my wings are tired, too. Let's walk with Pinkie. (flies down) So, how are we doing on water?
Pinkie: Almost empty.
Discord: How are we doing on food?
Derpy: Ahmost Emty.
Discord: Check the map. How are we doing on distance?
Pinkie: Almost Eaten.
Discord: Pinkie! You ate the map?
Pinkie: What? It just tastes SO DARN GOOD and we're low on food.
Discord: (sigh) Just gimme what's left of the map so I can try to make some sense out of it. (snatches map remnants)
Derpy: Doo we weally havta walk awl de way thwew de fowest tuh find Qween Cwisawais?
Discord: Yes. Yes we do. I saw her flying over her, so her base has to be in the forest.
Derpy: Seems wike a pwetty tewibble weason to me...
Pinkie: I now what'll cheer you up! A song!
Derpy: Wiwl it be abowt muvfins?
Pinkie: If you want me to!
Derpy: Yes! Pweese! Sing aweady!
Discord: Pinkie, I swear, if you sing one more time-
- All you have to do is take a cup of dirt!
- Add it to the sticks!
- Now just take a little something sweet and sour!
- A bit of sand, just a pinch!
Discord: Um, that's not how it's supposed to work. Just stop singing this nonsense!
- Baking these treats is such a cinch!
- Add a teaspoon of some pepples!
- Add one-two-three-four, and you count some more,
- But you never get vanilla!
Derpy: Ooh, I can tazd dem alweady!
- Muffins! So sweet and pasty!
- Muffins! Don't be too hasty!
- Muffins! Muffins, Muffins, Muffins!
Derpy: An now fow de tazte test! (takes bite out of inedible muffin) Mmmm, daloyshus!
Discord: Are you serious? You just ate a muffin with the forest as the ingredients! And as for you... (glares at Pinkie) I told you to stop singing! How many times have I told you to never sing?! You never listen to me! (grabs Pinkie's neck) Can't you get that through your thick head?
Pinkie: (creeped out) Uh, sure..
Pinkie: Ooh! A river! Stay right here on the trail while I go fill up the water bottle. (trots to river)
Discord: That's my name. Yeah?
Derpy: Doo you hate Pingie Pi?
Discord: (sigh) No, of course I don't hate her... it's complicated. She can get annoying sometimes, especially when she spontaneously breaks into song. I don't like her, but I don't hate her either.
Derpy: Hmm, I tink I can helb.
Discord: How so?
Derpy: Wewl, I'll mak a deel with Pingie Pi that if she promisess sheh woon't sing, you'll stahp naggin her.
Discord: I guess that's reasonable. Now help me try to find the last piece of this map.
Pinkie: (singing) I'm back! (normal voice) The water bottle's filled up so we can shake our tails outta hear. Where are we on the map?
Derpy: Wight dere near the topp.
Pinkie: Watch out, we're coming near the rip in the map in about half a mile. Anything could be there!
Discord: That's bad news, Pinkie. We need to stop, sit down, and think about our options!
Derpy: No, wee need to kep on walcing!
Pinkie: I agree with Derpy. We don't need to worry about that now, We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. (bumps into bridge) Ow! Gee, that was ironic on so many levels.
Derpy: Oh noi-oh! Somone's guardin the briddge!
Monty: Greetings, it is I, Monty the Python, guardian of the bridge of Canyon Creek! To cross the bridge of Canyon Creek, you are required to complete the three questions correctly! Although, the consequences are steep, if I do say so myself... allow me to demonstrate! (bites floorboards) Hesitation or falseness will punish you with a bite. My fangs can pierce through solid metal, and don't even let me get started on my lethal venom... So, will you risk your skins or gallantly cross the bridge of Canyon Creek?
Pinkie: Ooh! Ooh! I wanna try! Risking my life over python poison sounds fuuuUUUuuun!
Monty: Remember, hesitation or falseness will punish you with a bite. Pinkie Pie, what... is your name?
Pinkie: (imitates Monty's voice) PINKIE PIE, what's your name? (normal voice) You said it yourself, silly!
Monty: Very well then. What... is your quest?
Pinkie: To defeat Queen Chrysalis.
Monty: What... is your favorite color?
Pinkie: Duh, pink!
Monty: You shall pass. (Pinkie crosses) So, who next will risk their skins or gallantly cross the bridge of Canyon Creek?
Discord: That seems easy enough, give me you hardest.
Monty: Remember, hesitation or falseness will punish you with a bite. Discord, what... is your name?
Discord: You said my name already, it's Discord!
Monty: Very well then. What... is your quest?
Discord: To defeat Queen Chrysalis.
Monty: What... is your favorite color?
Discord: Green. No wait, brown. Scratch that-
Monty: You hesitated, prepare for poisonous pain! (bites Discord)
Discord: Auughackaaauurgh... wait, why am I not poisoned? Oh yeah, I'm immune to snake poison, since my blood is chocolate milk! 'Scuse me! (crosses bridge)
Monty: So, who next will risk their skins or gallantly cross the bridge of Canyon Creek?
Derpy: What abut mee? Can I twy?
Discord: Derpy, you have to, otherwise you're stuck on that side.
Derpy: Oh Kay, I wiwl twy!
Monty: Remember, hesitation or falseness will punish you with a bite. Derpy, what... is your name?
Derpy: Yoo sed Derpy!
Monty: Very well then. What... is your quest?
Discord: To defeet Qween Qwisawis.
Monty: What... is 48÷2(9+3)?
Derpy: Doo I use teh distrabutif propertee or PEMDAS? You knowe, "Pweese Excuse Mye Deawr Aunt Sparkwer?"
Monty: Of course you use PEMDAS! Actually, the distributive property would work too, but PEMDAS-
Derpy: Ha! You hesesitated! Now yu havta bite yoursewf!
Derpy: You pwomissed: "Wememberr, hesesitation or falsenes wiwl punish yoo wit ah bite." Noww bite yorsewf or I'll doo it four you!
Monty: Uhh.. (looks at tail) Here goes nothing... (bite) Auughackaaauurgh!
Derpy: Yess! (crosses bridge)
Discord: Nice move back there, Derpy! Only one problem, we passed the edge of the map, so now what?
Pinkie: Look up!
Discord: (looks up) Woah... what is that?
Pinkie: The sign says it's an infinite staircase. Sounds fun to me!
Derpy: Enfinite? Dat shure is a loooooong starecais.
Discord: And I bet that's where Queen Chrysalis is at, near the top! Nopony would find her there, so it would be the perfect place to hide a secret base or something. C'mon gang, start scaling the stairs!
Derpy: (sigh) Dis coud take a wile.
|Quarterfinalists (At Least Eleven Votes):|
Okay, we are back! Time to reveal who will get which medals! Remember, two will claim the bronze, while only one will get silver and the victor wins the gold.
Hmm. Only three birds and one mammal left. That means at least on bird will have to get a bronze medal. I won't bore you with the really long addition equations like in previous Pony Votings, so I'll just tell you that 59 of the 130 votes are left. Thirteen votes means you get a bronze medal. The bronze medalists are:
|Thirteen Votes (Bronze Medal):|
Puddy Tat and Eagle, here are your gold medals! (flings medals) Okay, it's down to Falcon and Bat, with 33 votes left. 17 votes or more will win you a gold medal and a place in Rainbow Dash's arms.
|Final Two (At Least Fourteen Votes):|
And now... the moment you've all been waiting for... I, Meester Tweester, am proud to present the community polled most-voted-for animal... the award of the best pet is...
|18 Votes (Gold Medal):|
Bat, the master of echolocation wins with eighteen votes! Rainbow Dash will come to pick you up in Pony Voting 7, so I guess you'll just have to sit tight. While you wait, you can stare at your marvelous reflection on this gold medal! (flings medal)
|15 Votes (Silver Medal):|
Falcon, I'm sorry that you do not get to meet Rainbow Dash again, but fifteen votes still earns you a silver medal! (flings medal) Um, and as a consolation prize, uh, here are some bits. Go and spend them at the snack bar or something. Wait, we have a snack bar at Hasbro Studios?
I forgot to reveal another prize! Bat, you will also earn your place in the Hall of Fame!
|HALL OF FAME:|
That about wraps up thing for Pony Voting 6. So for Pony Voting 7, you will be voting on M. A. Larson Episodes.
|M. A. Larson Episodes:|
Rules: You get five votes for five episodes. Meester Tweester owns the right to mention your user by name, however, if you would like to be anonymous, please tell us in your ballot.
Would you like to recommend a character, shout-out, or feature? You could also read my 1,000 edits gift, read Pony Voting without Discord, find out why Pony Voting 6 came out so late, or sign up for an epic Fanfiction Tournament. Click on the blue links for each feature! Please sign up for the Fanfiction Tournament, it needs some good writers to compete in it.
In the comments section, vote for your top five M. A. Larson episodes. Voting ends at noon UTC time on August 9th, 2013. Expect Pony Voting 7 on August 12th, 2013. That should be about it for this episode, so don't forget to vote, scrub behind your ears, brush your teeth, hug your parents, kiss your colt/fillyfriend, drink lots of water, and please trot home safely. This has been Meester Tweester, and goodnight Ponyville!